Tuesday, May 31, 2011


Early in life, I learned about 'the pain index'.  Having a leg being used as a pin-cushion at ten and eleven years of age makes for lots and lots of grit.
I doubt if a 'little' pain ever hurt anyone.  Erma Bombeck said, "Being a child at home alone in the summer can be a hazardous occupation.  If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.."  Oh boy...that's for sure.
"Where does it hurt?" is often asked...your mom wants to know!  "Where does it hurt?" asks the doctor...where, where, where???  Not quite so difficult when one can see it...it's those inner pains that are difficult, if not impossible to see and treat.
                                                                                                                             Michael Michael tells me of a commercial he's seen that's relevant to the paragraph above.  It shows people of various ethnic backgrounds being examined by a physician.  The doctor says "Let's have a look-see"...okay, let's.  But wait...instead of the physician, there's a sonogram-like snoop that does the looking...wow!  Modern technology strikes again.
Hurting someone who truly cares about me can leave a hole in their heart that only love will heal.  My loved ones know that...I hurt them.  I punched holes...but love patches work.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          
My sweet dad and my most lovable youngest brother were born w/heart defects...those holes were mendable due to awesome medical advances...did you know hearts leaked?
Aah, I had a different type of leak...one I care deeply for made a hole but that same one loved me enough to also heal it...another successful patch job.    
Pain index goes up and down...down and back up again and again and again!!!  Cry a little, laugh a lot or is it laugh a little and cry a lot?  To me, it depends on when and how it hits.
You know...I know... friends, families who are in such pain...leakage of the heart or is it flooding?  I want your pains/my pains to either go away...be eased...or be understood.  Seems less painful if we can understand.
Steve Vogl gave us another direct hit last Sunday morning.  He's been talking about Peter 'walking on the water'.  He used this phrase "Help In Time Of Need"...I won't forget that...it's the love patch that holds forever.  That's God's promise to you and me...never, ever doubt it...focus on Him and like Christ said, "Don't be afraid, just believe".
Last night I was sound asleep and having another weird dream.  Here's the conclusion:
Michael walked in to save me from certain destruction...so handsome .in his white dress uniform.  He put one foot on the rung of a stool....took off his cap, smiled as he leaned toward me and in his most loving voice said "Hello, little girl". 
I woke up and wondered what jolted me from my dream.  Aah,  suddenly I knew...oh yes, I knew.  I heard and felt God knocking on my heart...it was a direct hit.  Out of bed and here's the hit...this love patch is all yours.

From my heart...              


"Life's ups and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals.  Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want"...attributed to Marsha Sinitar.

One year at a Gunnison art festival, Michael bought me a small replica of a hot air balloon to hang in a room.  I had been in a series of accidents (none of which were my fault) so my sister gave me a tiny doll who could be contorted in any shape.  The balloon w/the doll in its basket now hangs in my bedroom...I love it...the balloon and the collapsible lady.

I was painfully 'bent out of shape' when  a lady ran a stop sign (in a tank-like Olds), smacked my little Olds on the passenger's side...knocked me 48' landing me/car between two big trees...broke the axle...my forehead broke the steering wheel...double ouch.

Hey, accidents happen...everyday, everywhere...to anyone!  What to do?  If possible, pick up the pieces...hopefully put me back together again.  Right?  Forget goals and that stuff, I hurt 24/7 for a very long time...enter addiction to pain medications...temporary UP...13 year DOWN.  Windows of opportunity?  Hardly.

I am amazed, I am thankful that God never gave up on me...nor did my family...never!  Why didn't God, why didn't they?  Simple...they loved me; God must've had a plan and me?  I hadn't a clue...okay, I had values again but no goals.

I felt like Humpty-Dumpty who sat on a wall, had a great fall...I was a mess of disjointed mental pieces...oh my, was I ever.  Oh well...oh well, what?  Would I ever be put back together again???

Fast forward and a window opened; it was clear and bright so when God put down my first stepping stone...I stepped...it was a Wow moment.

I understand His purpose for me...not a doubt.  The window of opportunity enables me to encourage others who identify w/my struggles, experiences and hopefully some wisdom accumulated along the way.  Or perhaps they know others who need a life...up...up.

I learned the hard way that my so-called perfect life wasn't perfect at all...I forgot what HE said about perfection...and now I get it.

Here's something worth remembering:
"Nobody's perfect.  Every one slides here and there, and they have their ups and downs.  When they are down, that is not the time to step all over them"...Neil Scham.

"All the King's horses & all the King's men couldn't put Humpty together again"...but God can and does...trust me, I know what I'm writing about.

From my heart...